Bad Boys, Bad Boys

When May got home from yoga this morning she phoned her friend, who, for witness protection purposes I will call her "Bill"(is it witness protection if I include a link to her profile?). As I was sitting with Adelaide I overheard May ask Bill about a stranger who had been knocking on Bill's door and peeking through her windows. (Yes, I know I am calling a "she" by the name "Bill". I just like the name.) Deep down inside I can feel those feelings only a man can feel when a woman might be in danger from another man and she is alone and scared. Adelaide and I jump into action. We grab our weapons; my Valentine's present fast-pitch softball bat (whose name is "Bill") and Addie's red whiffle bat ("Bill"). We get into our thug-busting truck and head out to patrol the neighborhood. Seeins' how Bill only lives two streets over I guess its a good idea to get some bearings. We cruise a couple of roads before we spot him. He's still knocking doors and peeping through windows.

Here's the problem:
Knocking doors = kids selling stuff
Knocking doors with paperwork = salesman
Knocking doors, peeping through windows, no paperwork, over eighteen, checking people's personals on the porch = suspicious behavior.

So with bat in hand and with Adelaide distracted by the open container of chapstick I knew two things. It was go time and I was on my own. I had to do what I thought was right . . .. The 911 dispatcher picked up on the second ring. I gave her all the information I could (except maybe that I was wielding a 32-inch, 24-ounce whooping stick) and even had a nice chat with her afterwards once we realized that she and my wife grew up together in Payson. Good ol' Payson.
Done with that I stopped at Bill's house to pick her up and take her someplace safe. On the way back to our house we saw two police officers questioning and searching two OTHER guys that had been just one street over. "Great, they're bustin' the wrong guys," I say to Bill. Although those two guys looked a little funny as well. Just my luck, they stop two innocent kids and the murderer runs free.

After checking in with May, its time to get Bill home. On the way back we see one of the two responding patrol cars out and about. Then I see the other one in the original place where they were searching those two random guys. As I pass that second cop cruiser I see the instigator of this whole mess still walking free. Guess it was no big deal. I drop off Bill and tell her we'll get them next time. On the way home I decide to stop and ask the policeman how it went. Plans changed as I slowed to stop and now saw all three (the two random guys and the original creepy guy) with hands behind their backs comfortably seated in the back of the cop's car! We got 'em!

HOAH! BAD BOYS! BAD BOYS! WATCHA GONNA DO? WATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU?!